Momma's Boy

 My son is technically an adult. I mean he is 18 and in the Navy. So I guess he can be called a grown-up.

He left for basic training in September and wound up halfway across the country. After graduation, he was sent even further away.

I guess I wouldn't call him a Momma's boy in the traditional sense. He is far too independent for that. He makes his own decisions and while I may be consulted from time to time, I wouldn't say he needs me to make decisions. 

I do miss him terribly though. 

The good news is that he is back for Christmas. A whole month! The bad news is that I have to share him with his friends and other members of my family. Including his girlfriend. And I am having a bit of a hard time with it. Not with her, she is a lovely person and she loves him very much. She makes him happy, and I am glad that he has her to talk to about the things he can't talk to me about. 

Here is the rub. I am having problems sharing him. He has been home for three days. And she has been here for three days. And nights. It is not so much that she is here. It is that she is in his lap, or attached from shoulder to hip, or holding both of his hands with both of hers. Or kissing him when someone is trying to talk to him. Or whispering in his ear when one of us is trying to talk to him. 

I am trying to take deep breaths, and not turn into that person. She has missed him, too. I get it. But it would be so wonderful if maybe we could have more than an hour with him. I am hoping it is just a reaction to not seeing him, and that she has missed him just as much as we have just in a different way. 

She is taking him out of town for a couple of days at the end of this week, just the two of them. I am hoping that when they come back, maybe we will get some time with him. 

I know I have to be patient and hope that he will prioritize at some point over the next few weeks, and I hope that I manage not to alienate anyone. Or cause a giant blowup. This time of year is stressful on its own. I don't need to make it worse for anyone. Including me. 

We forget when things get busy that we need to look out for ourselves as well. And if we aren't ok, how are we supposed to make sure that those around us are. You can't pour from an empty cup. You can't take words back, but you can scream them in your head and then wait for the emotion to leave and then decide if they need to be spoken at all. 

Taking a break and leaving the group to sit in a quiet room that isn't the bathroom (unless your bathroom is your happy place) is ok to do. Give yourself the space you need.

Family time is never free of pressure and nothing ever goes the exact way that you want. For anyone. You need to be able to live with yourself after anyone goes home. Do what it takes to get yourself there. I am going to remind myself of this. I hope you do, too. 

Back to the point about my son. No matter how much time we get to spend (with the company or without) with him I won't let it mar our time. So I picked I'll Stand By You by the Pretenders for today. 



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