1st World Problems

 I am trying something new. Every time I have an overly negative thought about someone or something, I try to come up with more positive to come up with about them/it.  I am not trying to work with toxic positivity, but to see if it changes my perceptions of the space around me. It makes sense to me that if there is such a thing as physical momentum, why wouldn't there be mental or psychological momentum? Have you ever had one of those days that starts a little off, and then rapidly goes downhill from there? A in you start by getting toothpaste in your eye somehow, then you open the fridge door and something flies out at you. Everyone in traffic is an idiot and nothing goes your way? I am sure we have all had one of those days, maybe not that day specifically, but something similar. I still am not sure how I got the toothpaste in my eye.  The other day, I had a series of similar events. This time, instead of raging and everything else going wrong after the third mishap (a...

What is one thing that oddly proud of? Maybe it's a skill you have or a talent.  Everyone has something that they do that they should be proud of.  Here's the gotcha, how long did it take you to think of something?  Now, what if I had asked you to tell me something you don't like about yourself. I bet that you could give me a list of 20 things before I was finished asking. Why are we like that? Why can't we celebrate ourselves? There are very few people with no redeeming qualities. I try to remind myself of that when I am angry or annoyed by someone. We are so willing to put ourselves down, but leave it to others to hype us back up.  And then when we are talking about how cool someone is, we rarely share that information with the person we are talking about. When we choose who we get to spend time with, it's usually because the person we chose makes us feel good about ourselves, or there is something about them that reminds us of themselves.  So if we can see th...

 Hello, tall people of the world.  Keep in mind that I am under five feet tall when I stand up straight, so there is a possibility I am addressing even those who don't consider themselves tall.  I have a small favor to ask of all of you people who can reach things off of grocery store shelves and the like.  When you find yourself in a group setting where all of the attention is focused on one part of the room, say a stage during a performance, before you step into an empty space, or take an empty chair, maybe just take a look around. One of us who needs to take a runner to get into a tall bed might be using that space to see.  I was out in public a lot this weekend watching my daughter compete, and I must say, people do not check their surroundings. Before you sequoias that walk get mad at me and say I could say something, or push my way back in front, what sound easier? You take a two-second look around, or I get all pushy with the shoulder tap and the squeezin...

 The truth is a slippery thing.  Two people can experience the exact same thing at the exact same time and come out of it with completely different recollections. Both will be telling their truth. And both will be coloured by past experiences. I have a tendency to be fairly insular. I try not to talk about things that can be considered controversial unless I am really close to the person I am speaking with.  We used to have something called "polite conversation". There were certain things you just didn't discuss with people. Religion and money being the top two major topics to be avoided. Conflict was avoided and conversations for the most part stayed fairly superficial, depending on the company you were keeping.  Then we stopped being so polite. Everyone was entitled to everyone else's opinion. You were going to hear it sometimes whether you wanted to or not. Newer generations have been raised thinking that their opinion is the only thing that matters. And older gen...

What is it about school pick-up time that turns people into maniacs? Today I took the truck to pick up my daughter. I pulled up to the front part of the waiting area and left room at the curb for people to be able to pull into and out of the alley there without too much trouble. A few minutes before the bell rings another vehicle comes and wedges itself in front of me. They get so close to my bumper that all I can see is their back window, and I can hear the flat line squeal of their backup alarm that should be telling them that they are too close. So now they are upon me with no room to spare and they are blocking the alley. Did I mention that the parking area on the other side of the alley is completely empty? When it came time for the car to pull out and into the road, there was no indication that they were going to leave either, just a pull out into the lane. I guess the person that was driving there was at fault for trying to drive where this obviously very important person was le...

My daughter has an advent calendar and every day along with the chocolate, a question is printed on the door.  Past questions have included: "what is your favourite holiday food?" and "what is the best present you have ever received?". Light and simple conversation starters that not really a lot of thought needs to go into. The one she had yesterday somehow became a bit of a doozy. The advent calendar wanted to know what our favourite Christmas memory one. This one, while simple on the surface, really threw me for a loop.  Not that I haven't had wonderful Christmases, many happy memories have been made. It was more the pressure of choosing just one. My first answer was family time. She informed me that that answer was too vague. Then my mind went blank. Just like when someone asks what my favourite movie, book, or song is. It's one of those funny questions that always make me scramble. That and "what do you want for (insert gift-giving occasion here)?...

We might be doing dumb, and I am very ok with it. My family and I (me, husband, and kids) usually spend Christmas somewhere warm. Last year we obviously didn't, but this year we are trying to. The tickets and rental car have been paid for, the condo is booked and confirmed. Everyone's passports are up to date and I am beyond ready to see the ocean.  I realize not everyone has the ability to travel and that I am very lucky to have the problem that is I am about to mention. We all happily got our shots, and I booked pre-trip testing to ensure that we meet all the eligibility requirements. The issue is with how frequently the rules and requirements are changing. On November 29th I booked the four of us in for the within 72 hours testing. Yes, we were spread out in a few different places at different times but I had it all booked. Then yesterday happened and it was announced that the US would be requiring testing within 24 hours. After a long scramble, I was able to get us all rebo...

I am having a hard time focusing today. Well beyond my usual level of being easily distracted. I might not be as bad as the dog in that movie whenever he thinks he sees a squirrel. But it's close to that level today. I don't know if it's burnout from the constant barrage of bad news and scary images. Or from every day bringing some new terrible thing happening that I have absolutely no control over. Maybe I just need a juice box and some apple slices.  Either way, lately when I am out and about, I am working on being kinder to everyone I come into contact with. I feel like we are all exhausted. And not the usual after a long day type of exhausted. As in the "I'm on the verge of tears at all times" exhausted. Behind the mask, no one can see your smile, but they can see it in your eyes, or by the tone of your voice.  It feels as though we all forgot how to "people" while we were social distancing. It's really all the little things we have forgotten...

It's November 11th. Today is a day that we put aside to think about those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms.  For some, it has become just a day that they don't have to go to work or school as long as they pin a poppy on their chest. It used to be that Legions and civil ceremonies were full to the brim with people wanting to be together to collectively mourn. No longer do we gather to think about those we lost. The poppy was the visual commitment that we would never forget. Veterans foodbanks are going empty and Legions are closing down as the generations that fought the war are aging. Those of us left behind are not picking up the slack to make sure that they are not forgotten.  Our children were not raised with the same views of the wars as we were. Survivors are not able to go into schools to share the message of what fighting was like and what they lost, even if they made it back. It is up to us to make sure that they know what these people went through and ...

So, I didn't get the job.  This was a different kind of rejection though. this company actually took the time to call me and let me know that they had gone in a different direction. And then she told me that I had done an amazing job in the interview and that I had a lot of the things they were looking for in a person. Not about my professional experience but me personally.  It really made a big difference. It was probably not a big thing for her, but for me, it was a kindness. My brain has been wreaking all sorts of havoc with me lately. There have been lots of negative thoughts and dark places. Instead of this rejection sending me deeper into a spiral, this lifted me out a bit. I slept for five hours last night and woke up in a positive place.  Rejection isn't always a bad thing. I am a big believer in the universe and what it provides. Maybe it's because I don't want to be the only thing in control of my life. Or maybe I need to think that there is something bigger o...

 When is the last time you checked in with your male friends? Or your husband (if you have one)? This one is about the men in our lives.  Let's be honest. No one is ok right now. We are all tired of living in historic times. The isolation that we would normally stave off by being together stays. We are slogging through existence like Artax and Atreyu in The Neverending Story. Our swamp of sadness seems to be never-ending and the short bursts of happiness are coming in shorter intervals.  Now I am going to get around to the question I asked at the outset comes in. As a woman, it is societally acceptable to feel, talk about, and show my emotions. Generations of men have been told that "men don't cry", to suck it up and be the strong male archetype. They have been shown by movies and TV that men only cry silently in the garage, or in the truck on the way to their father's funeral, or when they have to shoot their dog that somehow got rabies. Most men have never felt ...

Remember when you were little and everything kind of felt like an adventure? At least that was how I looked at things.  All activities to me felt like they had the potential for something exciting to happen. Maybe I would see something neat, like a dog. Maybe we would run into someone we knew and the day would take a turn for the fun. I think we should bring this back.  There is a song that I delighted in as a child, and I know that my kids did as well. Sing along if you know it: "I am slowly going crazy. 1,2,3,4,5,6 switch. Crazy going slowly am I. 6,5,4,3,2,1 switch." Since the novelty of the pandemic has worn off I feel like I am living that song every day. I finally know how Bill Murray felt in Groundhog Day.  Sure, some small things are different but every day is the same. So that is why I think we need to shake ourselves up. Time to find the excitement in the every day again. It is time to put some effort in and choose to be happy. If not happy, then at least not mi...