1st World Problems

It's a no-motivation day over here.  I have sat here and stared at this blank screen for a few hours now. I even did two loads of laundry in an effort to distract myself. So now I am just going to free write and see where it gets me.  This week has been a bad one for sleep. Between the windy nights and the pressure changes due to the weather, I have spent the last few nights laying in the dark and overthinking. The ideas that come in the middle of the night are always genius level, at that time. Then when the sun comes, it chases the genius part away. As does the motivation to go through with all the plans that I make while waiting for sleep.   At least insomnia is one of those things that most of us have experienced at one point or another.  And the gift of shared experience will take you pretty far. People for the most part try to be understanding when it comes to this sort of thing. They have a little more patience when your brain is stuck in a lower gear....

Last night was a rough one.  I am pretty sure my anxiety had anxiety last night.  My brain was in a mean mood and man was it taking some low blows. Together we ran through the whole gamut of mistakes I have made and all the fears that I am currently working through. Then there was the pacing dog, I am not sure if she was sensing what was going on with me or if she had some stuff of her own going on. Not really great for sleep either way.  Usually, I can talk myself into falling asleep by using the five steps to reduce anxiety: Five things I can see Four things I can touch Three things I can hear Two things I can smell  One thing I can taste. That didn't work, then I counted backwards from 100 a couple of times, then tried the alphabet. Still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I tried a number of things with none of them really working until finally around four I nodded off. Then was up at seven to take my daughter to school. I am having a slow-paced day as a result of las...

Is anyone else really tired? I can't seem to sleep. I go to bed. I lay there. I'm sure I must sleep but it never feels as though I am rested. I have never been a good sleeper. My brain is always going. Either I am going over the day I just had, and reliving every moment, and imagining what I could have done better. Or I am planning the next day. Or I am making plans for things I am never going to do. And on those special nights remembering any number of missteps I made in the past. It could be last week. It could be from grade eight. I have done all the things. I try to go to bed at the same time every night and get up at the same time every morning. My room is super dark. I have blackout curtains on every window. I keep my room cool and I change my sheets often. I don't drink coffee at all. I have a pop with supper and that is it.  I am beginning to think there is more going on than just bad sleep. It feels like more than that. In my bones I am fatigued. I have a feeling l...