1st World Problems

Do you ever have so much to do that it paralyzes you completely? That is what I am struggling with today. We leave tomorrow for a Christmas break and with the added precautions and tests to take there is a schwack of last-minute things that need to be done. Including two loads of my son's laundry that I have been asking for for the last week.  Yes, we are choosing to travel right now. Just like everyone else, we have had a ridiculously hard year and mentally, I need a break from this city and these four walls. Living in historical times is not for the weak of heart.  I always feel guilty for taking vacations, I think because growing up that my thought was vacationing was for were rich people. And we are not rich. Not even close. My mom never took vacations when I was a kid. I think it was more of a money issue than a desire issue. I know for sure she could have used many.  I feel bad for leaving the animals, even though they are left in very good hands. Maybe it is the Catholic roo

Do you ever get really obsessed with something? To the point that it becomes a joke in your family? I am currently in the throes of one such thing. The soundtrack of the Broadway musical "Hamilton" has been all I have listened to for at least a week. So far, it's just when I find myself alone. I don't want to force it on other people.  I can't quite put my finger on why I have it on repeat. The music is great, you learn while you listen, and the performances by some of the actors are breathtaking. And in typical me fashion I decided I needed to look up my current compulsion.  It turns out that people with anxiety or stress have a tendency to attach themselves to "comfort items". Whether it be watching the same movie over and over, or wearing the same sweatshirt almost every day. Turns out I have a few comfort items. I still sleep with the baby blanket I was given at birth. It has been recovered several times, and I use it in place of a pillow. But it is

I love to give advice.  Maybe too much. Not long ago I learned that just because someone is talking to you about their issues, it doesn't mean that they want you to fix them. I had the learn to ask if the person needed advice, or if they just needed someone to listen to.  I am a good listener, for the most part. Sometimes I get excited and share similar things that may have happened to me. That was another thing I learned recently. Not everyone is sharing because they want to commiserate. Sometimes they need to vent or just hear their thoughts out loud to figure out what it is they need to do.  It can become tricky though. There is a fine balance between active listening and waiting for the other person to stop so you can have your turn. Active listening means listening actively. All of the nods and other visual cues, as well as the yeps, okays, and uh huh's all have important roles. If someone you know trusts you enough to seek you out, it's an honour. For that person to r

My daughter has an advent calendar and every day along with the chocolate, a question is printed on the door.  Past questions have included: "what is your favourite holiday food?" and "what is the best present you have ever received?". Light and simple conversation starters that not really a lot of thought needs to go into. The one she had yesterday somehow became a bit of a doozy. The advent calendar wanted to know what our favourite Christmas memory one. This one, while simple on the surface, really threw me for a loop.  Not that I haven't had wonderful Christmases, many happy memories have been made. It was more the pressure of choosing just one. My first answer was family time. She informed me that that answer was too vague. Then my mind went blank. Just like when someone asks what my favourite movie, book, or song is. It's one of those funny questions that always make me scramble. That and "what do you want for (insert gift-giving occasion here)?&q

 My Grandmother was a huge part of my childhood.  I have written about her before, but she deserves to have so many stories about her shared. My grandmother and I made many memories together. They didn't all make sense then, but now looking back at the times we spent together, her mental health issues make a lot of sense.  I don't think she was ever a happy person. She self-medicated with booze, men, and gambling. She loved me though, with a ferocity that I am just coming to understand. It was her 90th birthday at the end of summer and all of her kids got together for the first time in no one knows how long. My grandmother is currently deep in the clutches of dementia, and because of that and her other mental health concerns, she is heavily medicated and not always present mentally when you are with her physically.  I went with my aunt to pick her up for the party. My aunt prepared me to see her. It had been an embarrassingly long time since I had last seen her. She warned me t

I wonder how many of you have been blessed with the opportunity of working a retail position over the holidays. There is nothing quite like it. It can be a lot of fun, and it can be scarring. Usually both at the same time. Most of my retail experience was gained at a bookstore. For most of the year consumers of bookstores know exactly what they want, or are looking to talk to someone about a new book series that they can recommend, or just to spend time in the bookstore. They, for the most part, are kind and low maintenance. Then there is the "kids section". Half of which is basically a toy store. But, a softer toy store. It's really isn't big enough for too much damage, but it still happens. Most of the damage is caused by kids who get left in the toy section while the mom has coffee in the coffee shop that is a part of the store. They were usually surprised that we brought their kids back to them and let them know that we were not a babysitting service.  Anyways, ba

I was worried about what would happen to Christmas with the kids when a certain truth about a certain important sleigh riding guest came out.  Our son is 3.5 years older than our daughter. Fortunately, when he found the truth he came to me to confirm and then decided that he was very excited to keep the ruse going for his sister. I don't think that it's because he is all that altruistic, I think he liked knowing something so important that she didn't. When her time came I was expecting to be sad. Like I had lost something.  Instead, I had a pretty intense feeling of relief. No more ninja-like tactics. Somehow our family had a tradition of wrapping the Santa gifts in a separate wrapping paper that would have to be hidden. Then while wrapping someone had to keep an eye on the stairs to make sure no kid was coming down the stairs.  Now that they are older, we have more fun at Christmas. The love of silly gifts and joking is still alive, and despite our daughter getting frustra

I love a Secret Santa.  Doesn't matter to me if it's the style where you know who you're buying for, or if it's a free-for-all. I love the silliness of it, the anticipation of it, and the laughs. The different approaches to it are also fun to watch. There is one person that goes and grabs something on their way to the exchange, the one who send their spouse, the one who regifts, the one who really tries to pick the best gift for the person they got, the one who tries to be the funniest, and the one who forgot.  Most of the time the Secret Santa's I was part of, you picked a name and that was who you were shopping for. I liked to find the combination of silly and something that I thought they would like. Just like with regular gift-giving I preferred giving to receiving. But maybe that is because I always get the person who forgot until they were on their way over or the one that had their spouse pick it all out.  And then there are the "pirate" style gift

We might be doing dumb, and I am very ok with it. My family and I (me, husband, and kids) usually spend Christmas somewhere warm. Last year we obviously didn't, but this year we are trying to. The tickets and rental car have been paid for, the condo is booked and confirmed. Everyone's passports are up to date and I am beyond ready to see the ocean.  I realize not everyone has the ability to travel and that I am very lucky to have the problem that is I am about to mention. We all happily got our shots, and I booked pre-trip testing to ensure that we meet all the eligibility requirements. The issue is with how frequently the rules and requirements are changing. On November 29th I booked the four of us in for the within 72 hours testing. Yes, we were spread out in a few different places at different times but I had it all booked. Then yesterday happened and it was announced that the US would be requiring testing within 24 hours. After a long scramble, I was able to get us all rebo

 It's officially December. Now I give myself permission to listen to holiday music. I don't want to get too sick of it, so I limit my exposure. There was a time not too long ago when I worked in retail. There are still songs from then that I avoid. The really excessive version of Jingle Bells and the one about Santa Claus getting stuck in my chimney are two examples.  Christmas music hasn't yet fallen into the category of "things you get made fun of for liking". I think its time will come eventually though. I don't quite understand the urge to dislike something just because it's popular. I also don't understand why some people can't just let others enjoy things. We seem to have gotten to a place where we need to judge others for everything, especially if that something is a song, tv show, or movie that we don't like ourselves. We have also forgotten the gentle art of ribbing each other a bit without either taking it too far or taking it too per