Flower and Gardener

 Do you know what your love language is?

Did you even know that was a thing?

Relationships take work, we all know that. As I was writing about Valentine's Day yesterday it got me thinking about the couples who come at things like that from completely different places. My husband and I decided early on that we would tell each other we love each other in little ways all year, that works for us. 

What about the couple where one half goes hard on the gifts, and the other doesn't reciprocate. I guess they either make it work, or don't. Just one of the things that every relationship has to hurdle. I don't think any relationship is perfect. How can they be? The choice there is to know in yourself what you are willing to give and what you are willing to receive. 

My husband and I decided to be married in a church. That part definitely wasn't for us necessarily, but we knew how much it meant to certain members of our families. As a part of getting married in the church, we chose we had to meet with the reverend who would be marrying with us a few times to talk about marriage and what it takes to be successful. We also had to take a marriage course (more on that another time). 

Our reverend was not your traditional old guy in robes. Instead, we chose the wife half of the couple that presided over my in-law's church. She wore John Lennon glasses, and more importantly BIRKENSTOCKS. I love Birkenstocks. Sorry, I got off-topic. Back to the point. 

She asked us a lot of questions about us, our families, and the relationships that we had as examples. My husband comes from (at first glance) pretty traditional relationships all the way back. My side though is a lot of turmoil, divorces, early deaths, and second (secret) families. Growing up I never thought I would get married. I just didn't see that being something that I wanted, or would be successful at. But, it was important to my now-husband. And I loved him enough (still do) to try it out. 

After she got the low down, she gave us probably the best piece of relationship I have ever heard. Nope. Not "don't go to bed angry", in fact, she told us that if there was something that wasn't going to be that easily resolved, it was better to go to sleep and see how you felt about it in the morning. That one was good, too. 

The actual piece of advice was this: in every relationship, there is a flower and a gardener. No one is always the flower, no one is always the gardener. But, the key is to realize that you need to switch places. Sometimes in the same conversation. And to be willing to drop your petals when needed to pick up your watering can. 

This stuck with me, and we have lived this piece of advice ever since. 

As for my love language. I don't know. I never read the book. 

Song of the day time! I am going to stay with the love theme. I can remember the first time I heard this song. I loved it and still do. In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel is one of the perfect songs. Not just to play while holding up a boombox (that's a movie reference). But for all occasions, maybe we should have picked this as our wedding song. Oh well. 

The song was released in 1986 and features Youssou N'Dour singing in his native Wolof. It was released in 1986 and became a gold single in 2005. Inspired to be about the African tradition of ambiguity on song between romantic love and the love of God, oh, and Rosanna Arquette (of Toto's Rosanna fame).

In Your Eyes is probably best known for being on the Say Anything soundtrack. If you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about. 

So this next part of the blog is something different. Affiliate Marketing is kind of a new thing. If I place links to products on my blog, and someone clicks through and buys them, then I get a cut of what is purchased. I am not expecting any one of my current readers to buy things, you're doing me a big enough favor just by reading my ramblings. In the future, should this ever get to be a big thing (finger's crossed), then those people can buy things. I thought I should start getting used to adding the links now though, so I am used to it. 

I will keep them at the bottom of the blog. So, if you aren't into it. Just stop reading after the song of the day. Cool? Cool! Here is something I mentioned in today's blog, and a couple of things I like. Just because. 

Five Love Languages


Popular posts from this blog

Momma's Boy

Deep Breaths

Changes, or how I never thought I would miss the last guy.