Equity Not Equality

 Let's talk about representation and why it matters.

This is going to be very brief but hopefully, it will make sense in the end. 

Part of reaching equity means that we are equal. Not just putting lip service to it when it comes time to prove that you care about other people. It also means doing the hard stuff. Like sitting and listening. Not interrupting or sharing a time that you felt as though someone was mean to you. Being uncomfortable and hearing things you don't like is a part of learning. It means sometimes letting someone else go ahead of you, and letting someone else shine as well. 

When you don't see yourself on TV or in movies it either makes you feel like you aren't seen, or it makes you feel like you don't belong. As a fat woman in a beauty-obsessed culture, I am made to feel as though I shouldn't want to dress in any way other than like my grandmother in polyester pants and loud, floral blouses, or in shapeless, floor-length muumuus. No one should be able to see my curves or lumpy bits, and if they do I should feel shame. 

For many years, the only fat female you would see in media was the non-sexual fat friend. If she had a man, he was unattractive and usually not very bright. She wore clothes that make her look like a couch and her only purpose was to make the skinny, beautiful star feel better about herself.

Now, think of it from a different perspective. Imagine that you are attracted to the same sex. When you watch TV or listen to certain politicians, people who feel the same way as you are villainized. They are called pedophiles. When the debate about whether or not you should be allowed to marry or not, people who think they are supportive and open-minded feel like they are being decent folks by allowing "civil partnerships". Imagine being told that you can't marry who you love, that you don't deserve the same rights to visit your spouse in the hospital, or to give homes to children that don't have them, and instead will be left to languish in the series of foster homes or group homes. In this country, gay men can't even give blood. People are literally dying because of an archaic rule that the government refuses to dismiss. 

I am going a step further. Being fat has never caused someone to be beaten to death or hanged. While gay men and women have had to hide who they are, at least they can hide. In this day and age people of color are still attacked physically, given far lower pay than their white counterparts, and told that they are "over-reacting" when they are simply trying to express themselves. 

"Allyship" and being "color-blind" are not enough anymore. We need to stand together. When we see someone in public being judged for who they love or what the color of their skin is, we as white people can't just pretend it's not happening and walk away. 

We will never be equal as long as we are pretending that what is happening now is equity. Progress has been made, we just need to keep going. 

Music Corner

Free Your Mind is a song that I will always turn all the way up in the car. En Vogue is one of those bands that never got the props that they should. The song is strongly anti-prejudice and contains some fairly strong lyrics sung by some awesome voices. You should check it out. 

Shopping Corner

My Friend!

White Fragility

Killers of the Flower Moon


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