My Mom and the Other Mothers
Yesterday was Mother's Day.
I am not good at the Hallmark holidays.
I don't like celebrating someone just because I am told to. If you love someone, you should tell them every chance you get. Or show them in the little ways, like making sure they've eaten or listening to them without hurrying them.
Mother's Day is a big one for me though. For most of my childhood, it was just me and my mom. And for a lot of her childhood, she didn't have a mom. My mom and I tackle things in very similar ways, we prefer honesty over playing games and we give people far too many chances.
Then there are the people in my life that took on the role of other mothers. for the purpose of this entry I am going to limit myself.
Two of my aunts in particular backed up my mom in ways that I am not sure they realize. Both on my dad's side. They both worked and ran a house like my mom, both are tough women who don't put up with anyone wasting their time. My aunts and my mom taught me that being independent didn't mean you couldn't have family (whether that be blood or choice). They taught me that being a woman didn't mean I had to settle for less, or that I should be treated as less than.
All three could and still can swear like sailors. And will fight for the people they love, whether you want them to or not.
I was welcomed into my aunt's homes as one of them, never treated like a burden. They never made me feel like they were sacrificing anything when I was around.
Even though my childhood was vastly different from most of the people I grew up around, I wouldn't have changed it for anything. Even in my lowest moments as an angsty teenager, I knew I was loved. I knew there was always somewhere for me to go, somewhere I would be welcomed and taken care of, no matter the circumstance (even after the time I unknowingly had lice).
I would say that I had a lucky upbringing looking back. I never doubted my place in the world. The village that raised me was varied and strong, maybe a little on the stubborn side. They taught me that charity isn't just throwing some dollars in a hat, it's inviting people who need a little support into your life as they need it. Working hard is its own virtue, and standing up for yourself doesn't make you difficult.
I am grateful for how I was brought up, and I appreciate whatever twist of fate it was that gave me this family. In the end, I can only hope that my kids feel as supported by me as I was by these ladies.
To narrow it back down to my mom though, relationships can get complicated from time to time, life isn't easy, and we don't get to spend the time together that we would like to. All of those factors just make me more thankful for the time we do spend. I hope that we have many more years to get up to nonsense.
And to my aunts, thank you. Thank you for loving me and including me. More than that thank you for supporting my mom.
Music Corner
My mom and I went on many road trips together. We would listen to the same tapes or CDs until we wore them out. Graceland by Paul Simon was a definite favorite. There was one song though that I can remember my mom listening to back to back for a while.
Silent Lucidity by Queensryche.
I never asked what it was that drew her into this one. It's a great song. But she seemed to really resonate with it. Released in 1990 the band hails from Bellevue, Washington. Which is kind of funny proximity-wise. When my mom was obsessed with this song, we lived not far away in Richmond, BC. Queensryche was generally known as a heavy metal type band, so this ballad was a bit of a one-off. This song would go on to be the band's most successful song, and it was nominated for a Grammy.
Shopping Corner - For the Lights of my Life, lol.
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