1st World Problems

Oh, my word! It's almost Halloween! I freaking love Halloween. The costumes, the candy, the spooky stories. For a poor kid, Halloween was the apex of holidays. There is free candy and food everywhere. It makes me think of some of my favourite (non-scary) personal Halloween stories.  One of the times I lived in BC, I think it was Vernon, the whole complex we lived in threw a giant Halloween Potluck. Everyone was dressed up even the adults and no one paid a lot of attention to a kid that was alone grabbing food. There were no questions about where my mom was.  When I was a little older (maybe nine) a teenager stole my giant pillowcase full of candy. I went home sobbing and was surprised to find my uncle and his friends hanging out at my house. I told them about all the work I had done to prepare two homemade costumes so I could get twice the candy, and how heavy the bag was. My uncle's friends all lived in the neighbourhood, and his one friend Greg asked for a description. All s...

I think we are all guilty of making plans for our kids. Or have a direction we think that their lives are going to go.  My son has always been a great kid. He is helpful, empathetic, and funny. Teachers and old people love him. When I thought about his future I pictured him as a teacher, or a nurse specializing in either geriatrics or pediatrics. I knew he was never going to be a doctor. Medical TV shoes make him uncomfortable from time to time. But definitely a helper profession. As he grew though and started to think about his future his bent was more towards mechanics. Turns out he is a gear head and he can fix just about anything. When it came time to pick his postsecondary plans he surprised us all by signing up for avionics instead of diesel mechanics. He isn't having a good time though. Turns out the wiring part doesn't match his vision of what he wants to do for the rest of his life. At the beginning of this program, we were discussing options that he would have by choo...

 When is the last time you checked in with your male friends? Or your husband (if you have one)? This one is about the men in our lives.  Let's be honest. No one is ok right now. We are all tired of living in historic times. The isolation that we would normally stave off by being together stays. We are slogging through existence like Artax and Atreyu in The Neverending Story. Our swamp of sadness seems to be never-ending and the short bursts of happiness are coming in shorter intervals.  Now I am going to get around to the question I asked at the outset comes in. As a woman, it is societally acceptable to feel, talk about, and show my emotions. Generations of men have been told that "men don't cry", to suck it up and be the strong male archetype. They have been shown by movies and TV that men only cry silently in the garage, or in the truck on the way to their father's funeral, or when they have to shoot their dog that somehow got rabies. Most men have never felt ...

 If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? When I was a kid we moved around a lot. I don't love moving but I love the adventure of being somewhere new. Even if it's in the same city just a new neighbourhood. I have lots of places left on my list of places I want to see and experience. And some I need to return to.  My favourite place to travel to (so far) is the province where I was born. There is nowhere else like it. It sits off to the east coast kind of like an afterthought. The land is buffeted pretty much constantly by wind and by the waves. While a part of this country it definitely doesn't feel like it. The air is clean, the people are kind, and the houses colourful. I went back earlier in the summer to bury my grandfather. So while not a vacation I was very glad I was there to say goodbye. It was very hard to leave when it was time to come back. All I want to do is pack up my family and go back.  I think when on vacation we all imagine w...

Yesterday was kind of a weird Sunday in my city. I guess I should give some more detail. As you may be aware a week was election day where I live. A few days before the election (during advance voting) some news came to light about an incumbent city councilor. Prior to his political career, he was a police officer. A police officer who used his influence to get a 16-year-old into his home instead of giving her a ride home and in that home assaulted that child.  There are some other details that I am not all the way sure of. There have been conflicting reports over where she was and if he had known her previously. Those are not the points I am going to dwell on though. In my mind, those don't actually matter. All that matters to me is that this girl was assaulted by someone in a position of authority. Someone much older than her, who she knew had access to a weapon. And that she had been trying ever since to have this taken seriously. Instead, our police force put a letter of discip...

Our newest favourite thing on Netflix is a show called Sex Education . Set in England, or maybe Wales (the location is never specifically mentioned) revolving around Otis who is your mostly typical teenage boy who is trying to figure it all out. His mom is a famous sex therapist (played by the amazing Gillian Anderson) and so he has to deal with that as well. There is a strong supporting cast of variously accented people.  In last nights episode, one of the characters is assaulted while taking the bus to school. At first, she thinks nothing of it, then it begins to affect her in many different ways. I don't want to give too much of the storyline away. It is a great series. Funny and touching. One of the plotlines within this story involves a group of teenaged girls sharing their experiences with other unwanted attentions.  It struck a little close to home. I don't think I know any women of my age group or above that don't have a story of something wrong happening to them. O...

Have you heard about bones day and no bones day? On one of the many social media platforms, there is an adorable 13-year-old pug named Noodles . If he has a bones day it means that the day is all good, get out there and kick bum. If it is a no-bones day then you get to take it easy on yourself. Maybe stay in bed a little longer, or allow yourself to wallow in sadness for a few minutes extra. Apart from the silliness of letting a dog on the internet tell you what to do with your day, I think this comes with a good message about mental health. Frequently we don't let ourselves fully feel the bad things, heck even the good things. We tamp down and feelings and get on with it. For me, that leads to it all breaking through at the most inconvenient time. When I was laid off it took me a really long time to not feel guilty about letting down my coworkers. As though my being let go was my fault. As though the very toxic person I was working for actually thought about or cared about anyone ...