1st World Problems

  Here we go again. There is another variant on the horizon and before we all scramble let's put our thinking caps on and put together a plan based on what has worked and what hasn't worked from before.  We know that masks work, yes they suck and no one really likes them but they keep transmission down and we can mouth swear words right in front of people's faces when they displease us. And in the winter, the mask can help keep your face warm!  We know that social distancing works. I miss hanging out with all my people all together but, we know that isn't safe yet. Small groups mean more quality time together and another way for you to avoid the people in your life you don't care to see.  The vaccines are being proven to prevent getting really sick. If you haven't gotten one yet, time to really think about why you haven't. If you are scared of needles, some of the clinics have therapy dogs to ease the fear. If you're scared of them tracking you, they can...

 I am finding it hard to get anything done today.  Not for the usual reasons though, this time it's my dog. She was spayed on Monday and her usual highly independent personality has taken a turn. Currently, she is laying under my desk right at my feet. I am having to type with my arms pretty much all the way extended because she is a large dog and my desk is rather small.  I must say I kind of like the extra time and attention she is requiring. I don't like the idea that she is needing it because she's in pain. I hope she's not. Or maybe it's the painkillers. Perhaps she feels like she needs more protection when she isn't 100% so being next to me at all the time is her way of coping.  We had to put our lab down in July. He was the first dog I ever had. I grew up with cats and I must say I was not expecting the vast difference in living with cats versus dogs. Our lab was the best dog ever. Other than the initial chewing incidents (I lost many shoes and my massage...

This is another holiday adjacent post.  For us, and for many, the holidays come with an increase of many things. Junk food, shopping, and snow are a few of these things. There is also way more social engagement than during the rest of the year. We always over-commit, and I always wind up not wanting to go but then having a great time when I am out there. You know how it goes.  I do find though that everything gets overdone. Too much food is eaten, too many drinks are had, too much money is spent. More importantly, too much of yourself can be given if you're not careful.  We tend to seek out family this time of year and it is sometimes to mixed results. We might allow people to be around us that we normally avoid. Or enter into conversations we normally wouldn't. It's ok to leave if you feel uncomfortable. In fact, it's probably better than feeling bad about yourself or the situation if you stay too long. The kindness that you are giving others should be extended to your...

 I grew up poor. Not in poverty, but there was rarely money for extras.  Christmas for me meant that my mom would be overworked for the weeks leading up to the day. I would barely get to see but come Christmas day she was mine for the whole day. There weren't always presents, but there was always a stocking. An orange in the toe, candy in the heel, and who knows what else in the middle.  To this day stockings are my favourite part of the morning. Nothing expensive comes in the stocking. That isn't the point. We take our time with them, everything is individually wrapped and usually, the gifts within are silly, or edible. The excess of Christmas has always made me uncomfortable. I prefer to focus on the feeling of Christmas.  For the most part, people are more kind, they have more patience, and they smile more. The level of excitement in the air makes everything a little bit more fun, and the promise of the holiday offsets the stress a little bit. When I was younger m...

 For many of us, it's the holiday season.  The kickoff to Christmas for me has always been American Thanksgiving. Probably because all of the commercials for toys and presents really ramp up right about now. Oh! And remember the Sears Wish Book? That always came out about now. The bible of consumerism would show up and I would spend hours going through it. Circling what I wanted for Christmas. Planning my future house through the household section. Picturing what I was going to look like when I was a working adult. It was a nice distraction from whatever else was going on.  Hannukah is also this week, a little earlier than normal. The eight crazy nights start on Sunday, November 28th and end on December 6th. When I was 11 I had a friend named Arthur. He was the first observant Jewish friend I ever had. Every day at school during Hannukah, he would bring us treats and he taught us how to play dreidel.  For many, the holiday season carries more stress than it does for ...

Sometimes forgiving someone has more to do with you than it does with them. I think we all have had people in our lives who owe us apologies, big and small. Following the phrase forgive and forget can cause more damage than it heals. In my opinion anyway. I am not talking about someone stepping on your toe, or losing your place in a book. I am talking about when someone has harmed you. The type of harm that you think about at random times, for me it's when I am not sleeping.  Many times when someone hurts us this deeply, they don't realize the profound effect that it is having on us. No one wants to believe themselves capable of hurting another person in a way that isn't temporary. And for those of us that are hurt, bringing up what was done can cause more trauma or reopen a wound that doesn't need to be reopened.  Forgiveness doesn't always have to be a public thing. Many of the things I have forgiven I have never mentioned to anyone else. Just kept it within me so...

I am having a hard time focusing today. Well beyond my usual level of being easily distracted. I might not be as bad as the dog in that movie whenever he thinks he sees a squirrel. But it's close to that level today. I don't know if it's burnout from the constant barrage of bad news and scary images. Or from every day bringing some new terrible thing happening that I have absolutely no control over. Maybe I just need a juice box and some apple slices.  Either way, lately when I am out and about, I am working on being kinder to everyone I come into contact with. I feel like we are all exhausted. And not the usual after a long day type of exhausted. As in the "I'm on the verge of tears at all times" exhausted. Behind the mask, no one can see your smile, but they can see it in your eyes, or by the tone of your voice.  It feels as though we all forgot how to "people" while we were social distancing. It's really all the little things we have forgotten...

 I am sure that you all have seen the devastation due to flooding in BC. The impact of this unprecedented natural disaster will take years to really be understood. Aside from the severing of commerce routes, there is also the loss of personal connection. Sure, people can fly. Most people though find it more cost-effective to drive. Especially during the holidays. Flying is expensive enough, let alone paying the extra fees to bring luggage and gifts.  While the land is currently lost and it will take years to repair the roads that have been washed away, there is farmland there that will be forever changed. Insurance rates will rise and corporate farms will win again. Produce costs will soar and buying local may become cost-prohibitive.  There is going to be a lot of talk about the costs of rebuilding the infrastructure (roads and bridges), but not a lot about the mental health aspect of what just happened. Calgary flooded eight years ago, and people still get nervous when ...

 I love snow.  Nope, not the white rapper from the '90s. But the white stuff that falls from the sky. You know, not the ash from the summer forest fires. Or the pieces of building flying around downtown, but snow.  I like the sounds it makes when you walk or drive on it (slowly). I like watching it fall while I am wrapped in a blanket and looking out the window. Every year I wait anxiously for the flakes to fall. I check the weather apps a little too often waiting for the forecast to say snow. Then because it is near impossible to predict weather here, I am frequently let down when the promised snow doesn't fall. But then, it finally happens. Usually, a huge storm that it takes forever to recover from because this city's idea of a snow removal plan is a Chinook. But everything is so pretty, sounds outdoors carry differently. And everything is quiet. Autumn in this town brings the brown dead grass and dust everywhere. When the snow comes, the grass is covered and I suffer ...

I don't know if you have noticed how the news cycle usually goes. Friday afternoons are for releasing things that people for whatever reason don't want to get a lot of attention and Monday mornings are for things that the people that are releasing them want to get a lot of talk going about them. On Friday afternoon there was some talk from one news source that Kenney would be announcing on Monday that Alberta would be joining the $10 a day federal child care program. The news source that released it has in the past been more sympathetic to Kenney, his party, and his missteps. It was a small article without a lot of fanfare.  Today, (Monday) another news source released the same story. This time it was a much larger article. The source this time has been more critical of Kenney and his party. There was more information given time, including the possibility of Trudeau coming to break the news with Kenney.  Now, the reason I bring this to your attention. The media is a large and ...

It's November 11th. Today is a day that we put aside to think about those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedoms.  For some, it has become just a day that they don't have to go to work or school as long as they pin a poppy on their chest. It used to be that Legions and civil ceremonies were full to the brim with people wanting to be together to collectively mourn. No longer do we gather to think about those we lost. The poppy was the visual commitment that we would never forget. Veterans foodbanks are going empty and Legions are closing down as the generations that fought the war are aging. Those of us left behind are not picking up the slack to make sure that they are not forgotten.  Our children were not raised with the same views of the wars as we were. Survivors are not able to go into schools to share the message of what fighting was like and what they lost, even if they made it back. It is up to us to make sure that they know what these people went through and ...

So, I didn't get the job.  This was a different kind of rejection though. this company actually took the time to call me and let me know that they had gone in a different direction. And then she told me that I had done an amazing job in the interview and that I had a lot of the things they were looking for in a person. Not about my professional experience but me personally.  It really made a big difference. It was probably not a big thing for her, but for me, it was a kindness. My brain has been wreaking all sorts of havoc with me lately. There have been lots of negative thoughts and dark places. Instead of this rejection sending me deeper into a spiral, this lifted me out a bit. I slept for five hours last night and woke up in a positive place.  Rejection isn't always a bad thing. I am a big believer in the universe and what it provides. Maybe it's because I don't want to be the only thing in control of my life. Or maybe I need to think that there is something bigger o...

Last night was a rough one.  I am pretty sure my anxiety had anxiety last night.  My brain was in a mean mood and man was it taking some low blows. Together we ran through the whole gamut of mistakes I have made and all the fears that I am currently working through. Then there was the pacing dog, I am not sure if she was sensing what was going on with me or if she had some stuff of her own going on. Not really great for sleep either way.  Usually, I can talk myself into falling asleep by using the five steps to reduce anxiety: Five things I can see Four things I can touch Three things I can hear Two things I can smell  One thing I can taste. That didn't work, then I counted backwards from 100 a couple of times, then tried the alphabet. Still bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I tried a number of things with none of them really working until finally around four I nodded off. Then was up at seven to take my daughter to school. I am having a slow-paced day as a result of las...

For the first time since the pandemic hit my husband and I went to a casino as patrons, not to volunteer.   It was my stepmother's birthday this weekend and we joined her and my dad for dinner at the buffet, after eating we thought it would be fun to go lose some money. And it was for the ten minutes it took me to get bored.  The point of this story is coming, I promise.  To get into the casino, I showed the guys at the door my QR code, and for the first time, they asked to see my ID with it. Then on my way in the door once I had been cleared I noticed that they were doing free onsite covid testing for those with their shots, or maybe didn't have their vaccination records on them.  Not only did I feel protected knowing that everyone had been screened but I was super impressed by the way the business was handling an otherwise messy situation. There has been a lot of chatter about personal freedoms and "police states", I think a lot of those people have probably n...

 How many jobs have you had? I tried to Google an average and there was no one number. I have worked at a gas station, a couple of different bookstores, a dutch restaurant, for an earthworks company, as a giant rat in a kids birthday hot spot, for a blue and yellow electronics store, and briefly as an admin for covid testing, and for a bit as a manager at a battery kiosk in a mall. None of this includes all the "working" I did with my mom at her workplaces when I was growing up or the catering I have been doing for most of my life.   I am of the opinion that everyone should have to work retail, customer service, and in a restaurant at least once in their lives. And in the restaurant, they should work front and back of house. There are some lessons that you can only learn from these types of positions.  While I try not to judge people (My name isn't Judy) I must say I form opinions on people based on how they treat the people serving them. Snapping at or yelling acros...

So, I am irritated again.  With Jason Kenney, again.  Yesterday he threw Dr. Hinshaw right under all the tires on the bus .  He stated while being questioned about the province's Covid response, and dropped the dime right onto Alberta's chief medical officer or health. He stated that Dr. Hinsahw failed to make any recommendations in August thus allowing for the fourth wave to hit. He failed to also mention that he was on vacation for three weeks in that same month.  Now, I don't have a lot of affection for Dr. Hinshaw either. While I am not sure exactly what the right response to the pandemic would be, I am pretty sure that the way this province did it was not the best way. It felt to me as though our premier was more concerned with ensuring his popularity with the far-right voters instead of protecting all of us. Dr. Hinsahw never seemed to step up though. In fact, the whole response seemed to be a lot of finger-wagging and grandstanding. No accountability has ever ...

Holy cow. It's funny that since I've been home how much something like a job interview can just really take it out of you.  So instead of something serious, I thought I should bring a couple of news stories that I was sent to your attention. Don't worry, I am hoping you'll get at least a grin out of them. First up is a Halloween story. Last year my daughter and I put together a whole bunch of individual goodie bags together so we could all stay socially distant and everyone would still get a treat. Instead, some kids came along and took about five each. The funniest part was that we wrote messages on each bag. One of the ones that were taken read "sharing is caring". I suppose their definition of sharing was just a little different than mine. Onto the story. A group of friends were trick or treating when they came across an empty bowl. Instead of moving on, or stealing the bowl. They each took some candy out of their bags to share the wealth with anyone who c...